it was what sparked my anxiety episode in the first place
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
danger of being the sober amongst the drunks
Disclaimer: I am not claiming to be a good girl on the sole reason that I do not drink (excessively)
I might have mentioned this to you: about my drinking session that lasted till 7AM and was in no way wild. Disappointment.
The issue: I think it is so dangerous to be the sober amongst all the intoxicated beings.
My every action and my every speech were intended and the decision to make them was a conscious one.
Here is the problem: everybody else seems to be acting on impulse. The words they speak, their actions. It makes me confused. So you hugged me after consuming a liberal amount of alcohol. Do you actually remember doing that? Is your declarative memory intact or has the alcohol stopped your hippocampus from working? Did you meant for the hug to be an affectionate one in the friendly way(???)?
Qn: Should I just be intoxicated thus not letting it bother me?
I might have mentioned this to you: about my drinking session that lasted till 7AM and was in no way wild. Disappointment.
The issue: I think it is so dangerous to be the sober amongst all the intoxicated beings.
My every action and my every speech were intended and the decision to make them was a conscious one.
Here is the problem: everybody else seems to be acting on impulse. The words they speak, their actions. It makes me confused. So you hugged me after consuming a liberal amount of alcohol. Do you actually remember doing that? Is your declarative memory intact or has the alcohol stopped your hippocampus from working? Did you meant for the hug to be an affectionate one in the friendly way(???)?
Qn: Should I just be intoxicated thus not letting it bother me?
Monday, September 9, 2013
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Been thinking lately about what in my life is blog-worthy (not saying that my blog only contains "blog-worthy" material, it's shit most of the time)
It's September, a Saturday and it means one thing and one thing only - I do not have much bloody time. As morbid as it is going to sound, I don't think I have much of a life of me. When I "look" into my future, I don't see myself working and neither do I see myself living. I'm not sure if that means I will be dead. But I'm scared - hence why I have decided to do things that I should have done in my teenage years.
1 - Drink
I had my first ever drinking session last night which lasted till morning 7AM. Wild life you might say but really, no. I hardly drank enough to successful strike "Drink" off my bucket list. SC tanked all my alcohol, one hell of a gentleman I have to admit.
2 - Kiss
I have only kissed one person in my entire 19 years of existence. I am single and not very available, but until then I would like to just smooch a nice person or 2. As sexual as I might seem, it's just plain inquisitiveness.
3 - Sleeping half naked
Having shared bedrooms with my siblings, I never had the privilege of being clothed lesser when I slept. I would think it would be a very comfortable experience and definitely much more cooling in the sweltering Singapore weather.
I have the full understanding that the above fore mentioned points seem very stereotypical of a wild teenage girl life and that is what I would like to achieve before I end my teenage years in 1/2 years' time.
Until then, shalom
xx
It's September, a Saturday and it means one thing and one thing only - I do not have much bloody time. As morbid as it is going to sound, I don't think I have much of a life of me. When I "look" into my future, I don't see myself working and neither do I see myself living. I'm not sure if that means I will be dead. But I'm scared - hence why I have decided to do things that I should have done in my teenage years.
1 - Drink
I had my first ever drinking session last night which lasted till morning 7AM. Wild life you might say but really, no. I hardly drank enough to successful strike "Drink" off my bucket list. SC tanked all my alcohol, one hell of a gentleman I have to admit.
2 - Kiss
I have only kissed one person in my entire 19 years of existence. I am single and not very available, but until then I would like to just smooch a nice person or 2. As sexual as I might seem, it's just plain inquisitiveness.
3 - Sleeping half naked
Having shared bedrooms with my siblings, I never had the privilege of being clothed lesser when I slept. I would think it would be a very comfortable experience and definitely much more cooling in the sweltering Singapore weather.
I have the full understanding that the above fore mentioned points seem very stereotypical of a wild teenage girl life and that is what I would like to achieve before I end my teenage years in 1/2 years' time.
Until then, shalom
xx
Friday, September 6, 2013
Mike Posner - Cooler Than Me
Shades of someone who is still much cooler than me
Dear Natalie Wong,
I am going to miss you when you are away. A good many many kilometres away (attempted google search but it failed)
Love,
Joey Chua
P.S. The shades remains of the song "Cooler Than Me" by Mike Posner
P.S. The shades remains of the song "Cooler Than Me" by Mike Posner
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