cuz I was so free then

2013 in pictures (so far)

 BELATED HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

 On my way to walk-in auditions for NTU's Impresario 2013

 WITH PAMELA @ the prettiest BK ever after my perf at CJ

 My beautiful plant that has lost all its flower

 Tuckshop to look for NatWong w/ Jean and YT

 My Favourite Malay-looking Boy

 Lunch w/ my love @ Savuer

 Malaysia hospital w/ my aunt

Bintan where my mum hails from

My life has changed and I miss my past.

My best friend has her heart broken and I am clueless as to how to pick up the pieces. I know her heart is shattered, her feelings are hurt, but I do not know how to make her feel better! I miss her. I wish I could be by her side just being the quiet company she secretly yearns, so she knows she will never be alone. But then again, when one is sad, frustrated and so hopelessly shattered, things are irrational and there is no SOP(Standard Operating Procedure). I wish I know what to say and what to do.

Cause I am strong, I will brave this alone///12 January

Bintan, Indonesia///SJC Camp Aspiration 2013 for the Secondary 4s.

Honest thoughts about it: I wish I had more friends like the Bintan team! All of them made me feel like I was not alone and that no matter what, we can work things out together. Though it was only 3D2N, the team worked hard together. Making fun of my 'elbowing' and 'snoozing' and deciding on which brand of pads are the best. Though yes Joshua, I think tampons are the best. I agree with Weile on how all the rubbish night talk brought us closer together. 

Being the youngest in the entire team, I felt like I had so much to learn from them. Most of them were experienced but I was the greenhorn. Dumped with a class and made to follow strict instructions from teachers. It was so FUN! I loved it. The girls were so nice and all. I can't fathom how lucky I am to have survived my first PAL and my first overseas camp! In love, I am. 

In other news, the camp didn't really end on a high note for those involved. You know who you are, not that you would read this. I promise to stay strong cause I can and I have to and will. It's crazy. Well, I do reckon that I would just volunteer for the next Bintan trip but I will never know what management will do. 

Joe

I feel my "material girl" surfacing. Scary especially since I have spent all the Yusofs I have.

2013~

My childhood is ending. Today I heard my ex-link beeped once. We all know what this means, Adulthood. I am scared. I don't know what is coming my way and how I proceed from here. People have university all decked out for them. I used to think I was going to be like them; pursuing big dreams. Then came the bad results in JC: life sucks. Writing all this is driving me insane. I am terrified, being scared is an understatement. My parents don't seem to realise I am venturing into this adulthood and they don't seem very interested in teaching me what life is. Their attempts in the past have include hours of mindless nagging about studying and their friend's kids who... Urgh, I can still hear that chatter in my head. In other news, I have been job hunting since half an hour ago. Having one job is not enough! I use the "no money" excuse cause I do not want to have to explain to people about me not knowing what I really want. That would include a deep conversation and some tea. No patience for that. What I need these days is some peace. My current job is FUN! Much fun, in fact! However I want to do more than that! I want to see people function! Small kids, Teenagers, Adults, Working adults. It is all too interesting and I want to know how doing all these different things feels like. Office job, waitressing and what nots. 

x

Here comes the teenage-side of me; I am angry and pretty peeved at my friend being so petty and hence, annoying. People are selfish; that I already knew but I have chosen to ignore it while still behind rose-tinted glasses (reminds me of Abigail writing my write-up for an exhibition piece I did). I think it's about time I face reality. Sighhh, it sucks to grow up.