The actual plans

1. Make cards for THE classmates; all 19 of them
2. Find a fun and good-paying job
3. Finish my horrible novel
4. Buy a ukulele AND collect the guitar from my cousin
5. Learn to play the ukulele and the guitar
6. Watch the Hunger Games
7. Buy skater dress and leather skater skirt!
8. Bake a GOOD cake!
9. Choir alumni shirt
10. Random Quote shirt
11. Class steamboat for CNY
12. Choir chalet!!! 

Post As planning commences

Singing this for prom (wish me some luck)

Had my first vocal lesson yesterday night. Went quite horribly. HAHAHA I am an ass.

Its currently 26th November, 10:43AM. Yes, still morning. This means I still have some time to salvage myself. I need to start studying and be efficient. Having my first ever vocal lessons today. I am thinking that maybe it would be like a basics lesson and nothing else, but we shall see about that.

A levels are ending next week (finally!) and I have my class chalet next week too. I am semi-excited about it but it will kind of signify the last thing we would have together as a class, which is a very gloomy thought. 

Before the studying starts, I thought I should start reflecting about the weekends; surprising my best friend with her boyfriend. It was a HUGE success, but that is besides the point. That day, when I saw the two of them together; I swear, I couldn't be happier for them. They are so perfect for each other. Sure, they do have their differences but those differences are what makes them one. However, they are so similar too. It's just crazy. (Far-fetched thought that maybe they should get married, hahahaha) It got me thinking about my own relationship. We are different, but neither are we similar in any way. We do not have ANY common interests at all. It kind of sucks cause we can never do PROPER things together. Yes we can hang out, but I would imagine that if we did have something that we liked doing together, we would be spending and enjoying more times together. It is just so frustrating... I just cannot help it but to compare what I have to them. It's impossible. 

Forgive my rants about my relationship but I really do not enjoy keeping it all to myself or telling it to anybody else. HAHA, I am just an ass.

24 hour break

What semi-liberation means to me.

Sunday.

Sometimes I wonder why things are the way it is. Is it God? Is it fate? Destiny? Or circumstances? It's hard thinking about stuff like this. It's scarily spiritual and sometimes, to me, it seems like I am questioning the universe. IT IS HUGE! How can anyone question things like this? Things just happen, no? As a girl at 18 of age, I start to question this thing I have with you; this thing called a relationship. I do agree that I am a bitch when I tell myself that maybe this is not even official since you have never asked me if I wanted this; this whole stupid official boy-girl relationship. Obviously, we are together. Everyone thinks we are and we think we are; but honestly, are our hearts in this together? 
Just recently, very recently, I started asking myself if this was right for me? Is this right for me? Can we, yknow, catch up with each other? Can I tolerate all your childish behaviour? Will I ever be able to appreciate you for who you are? Your religion? I can't. I don't think I can. That was why I cried so hard last night, and woke up today with swollen eyes. But with my stupid small eyes, swollen or not; no difference at all. 
It's so hard for me to know that you KNOW that after life, we won't be together. This just means 'Forever' is not possible. HOW CAN THAT NOT BE POSSIBLE? 
It kills me even further that he can't be with somebody who truly lets him be him, who loves him wholly. I love him like nuts, I have to say. But it still kills me. Right now, I just can't wait for As to NOT END so we don't need to have that stupid talk that will lead to a stupid decision that will hurt my fucking heart. And I would have to live the rest of my life being miserable that such a thing even had to happen. Alright, if you are random reader, you would think I am being childish and like am a love-crazed teen. No people, you do not understand. No, we did not have sex. But what we have is so so special, I am not even being delusional here. Sigh sigh sigh, I want to run away so bad. 

Crying myself to sleep tonight, not because of As but bcause of us.

I need a miracle. Just one, please.

Tired of screwing things up. Today's paper was supposed to be redemption.

Savage breasts and Meso compounds. URGHH!!!

Scared stiff. Dear Air, save me!

Wassup wassup! A's is coming!!! Nervous like shit and doing nothing but studying these days. Break time now and looking back at the things I have done this year. CRAZYYY!!!!