What a beauty <3

Title: Woes of a lonely girl


Hi, thanks for reading. I am 17 going on 18. I understand, you are probably thinking: "Oh shit, another teenage girl whining and moaning about her oh-so-sad life." No wait, I'm not sad; I am just lonely. Loneliness does lead to sadness sometimes but wait, hear me out first. 


It is a new school but it's the last year of school already. Two years really is not enough for me to meet someone new and be like bosom friends. Took me 6 good years and counting for me and my best friend to have such an interesting and somewhat strong friendship. We love each other, and we definitely share a lot of things happening in our lives with each other that we don't share with other people. It's like a, a sort of trust. But I still do feel lonely. We don't talk much. We don't see each other much. Though as much as we know we have each other, sometimes we just forget about each other. 


Here comes the irony: I have a boyfriend. He's lovely, sweet and kind. Everything I could ever ask for. I love him with all my heart, and h's always there for me. But I am still lonely. I can't seem to open up my heart, i.e. sharing my problems with him. I just feel as though he would start worrying for me and I rather suffer alone than have another suffer with me. Furthermore, I do not feel exactly comfortable telling people stuff. So I feel alone, knowing I have to conquer many things on my own. It is my life after all.


I have a family, people. Dad, Mum, Sister, Brother. You name it I have it. My siblings and I even share the same room. We talk often but end up fighting most of the time. It's just how it has been since those rascals were born. I spend most of my time at home alone; studying. We hardly ever talk anymore and honestly, there is nothing I wish to talk to my family about. Maybe it's just the conservative nature of Chinese families. It is just awkward, so uncomfortable. 

I do not know what to do. I am happy, but I led today not having much human interaction (half an hour max). I was bored to death and I felt like crushing all my papers and breaking all my pencils. Maybe it is just me. I will never know I guess but I do not want my entire life to be like this. 

29th July 2012
Everyday screams: A's. I do see the sheer importance of this but honestly, I think there is more to life than this. Ten years down the road, it's all going to look stupid - like how PSLE and O's already look so stupid to me. I can't wait for the near future to end.


The
Olympics
Is 
So 
Awesome! 
<3

#nowplaying

It's so good. 

My parents got home and got amazing stuff from Bangkok.


I have to go there one day, soon.


+ My mum had a pitch on opening an online stores to sell amazing buys from Thailand.


I have the coolest mum, i think.


And I feigned illness to stay at home today. Not in the mood to meet my friends and smile/laugh.


+ I hope everybody's doing better than me. Out of ten, I'm a 3 right now.

How's everybody? It's eight and I'm feeling lethargic from today already. I don't even want to go to school tomorrow. :(:( While leaving school today, my teacher ran up to me and asked me if I wanted to perform for National. Thank you, but no thanks. With my grades? Com'on. I need to study, so I took up his second offer: performing during prom night. I feel kind of lucky though, being given the opportunity to do what I love <3 And goodness, how much I miss AJChoir.

So I have not been doing much reading, other than the same book from previously. I'm too slow and/cause there is no time for such things (especially when I chose to nap for three hours today).

x

National Day is coming up and I cannot wait to see the jets and fireworks. !!! It's just amazing yknow. I missed it when they used to hold the parades at the Singapore stadium, more sky and lesser buildings. All's in town now, so trees and buildings practically block everything from view. + I had this crazy idea of posting a video of me singing some random national day song, but I cannot play the guitar so the video would not be cool.

x

+ I need new shoes/bag/clothes/life/a better heart.

x

And

people need to know about my unhealthy obssession with thick full eyebrows.

 x

Excited! I hope the Alumni shirt will become a reality.

Woke up today at 7, thinking I was late for school. For a good ten seconds, I was panicking on bed; thinking of reasons I should not be going to school. I found one: There was no school today ha ha 

Today was fun - studying at Anu's house tho' 70% of the time, we were humming to tunes and singing choir songs. She watched the Taming of the Shrewd, starring the gorgeous Elizabeth Taylor while, I - the science faculty student - did 50 Chemistry MCQs and complex numbers.  

Did I mention I got an E for GP? How screwed is that (considering my B last term)? Its the lowest grade I've gotten and I wanted to die in my sleep that night. An embarrassment, I am. 

Singapore is quite pretty

How's life? 

It sucks.

Failed everything. 

To hell with school.

And myself.

Reading "Stars" by Kathryn Harvey

Visuals: Singapore Zoo 动物园

Being at the zoo with him on Monday was fun. It's always different; being alone with him. Such a charmer.

Cat Power - Red Apples 

Haunts me. My heart has been aching a lot lately. I just want all this to end. Your misery to end. I need to know you are fine. You are comforted and you have forgotten all the love and heart breaks.

p.s. i speak like an emotional child but I'm not really one.

Pink dot yesterday was fun ^^

Dear BFF<3

I LOVE YOU