Title: Woes of a lonely girl


Hi, thanks for reading. I am 17 going on 18. I understand, you are probably thinking: "Oh shit, another teenage girl whining and moaning about her oh-so-sad life." No wait, I'm not sad; I am just lonely. Loneliness does lead to sadness sometimes but wait, hear me out first. 


It is a new school but it's the last year of school already. Two years really is not enough for me to meet someone new and be like bosom friends. Took me 6 good years and counting for me and my best friend to have such an interesting and somewhat strong friendship. We love each other, and we definitely share a lot of things happening in our lives with each other that we don't share with other people. It's like a, a sort of trust. But I still do feel lonely. We don't talk much. We don't see each other much. Though as much as we know we have each other, sometimes we just forget about each other. 


Here comes the irony: I have a boyfriend. He's lovely, sweet and kind. Everything I could ever ask for. I love him with all my heart, and h's always there for me. But I am still lonely. I can't seem to open up my heart, i.e. sharing my problems with him. I just feel as though he would start worrying for me and I rather suffer alone than have another suffer with me. Furthermore, I do not feel exactly comfortable telling people stuff. So I feel alone, knowing I have to conquer many things on my own. It is my life after all.


I have a family, people. Dad, Mum, Sister, Brother. You name it I have it. My siblings and I even share the same room. We talk often but end up fighting most of the time. It's just how it has been since those rascals were born. I spend most of my time at home alone; studying. We hardly ever talk anymore and honestly, there is nothing I wish to talk to my family about. Maybe it's just the conservative nature of Chinese families. It is just awkward, so uncomfortable. 

I do not know what to do. I am happy, but I led today not having much human interaction (half an hour max). I was bored to death and I felt like crushing all my papers and breaking all my pencils. Maybe it is just me. I will never know I guess but I do not want my entire life to be like this.