The Day I Met A Man

Dear friend,

I saw a guy the other day, 23rd June at the Grand Canyon, Arizona. I can't seem to remember how he looks like but I do remember him looking a little Asian. Asians who grow up in the USA really do look a little different from Asians who grew up in Asia. I caught him looking (my way) at the gift store down at Village Transfer. I never got to say "Hi" or "Hello, my name is Joey". I could not bring myself to because I would probably be stared at really weirdly. 

"Hello"
-Cute guy looks at me weirdly-
-Cue for Joey to start running the other direction-

But why the big fuss over 1 guy who I thought was looking at me? He (or the incident) intrigues me. As of right now, I think he was beyond cute. It was something intriguing (wow, the vocabulary used). I noticed that he was wearing a grey Under Armor shirt but I can't seem to recall what he wore as a bottom or his footwear. I believe the reason I took note of the shirt was because I was wearing Under Armor that day too. 

Here is a story about me being creepy. I am so desperate to find just who that guy was that I googled "Grand Canyon 23rd June" and searched on Twitter "Grand Canyon". 

OMG JOEY TO EARTH PLEASE! 

I could have gotten the date wrong as well. I lost track of time during my more than 2 weeks long vacation.

Love always, 
Joey

Just ended the vacation of my life (for now)

This morning has been nothing but dreadful. Tangled in my sheets, I woke up crying. It was a blur but between my dreams and reality, it all seemed so real. Chest heaving, clouded vision and a war lost. 

I try. I died.

Rewriting my life. 

Screw it

I have never felt more alone. I never saw the importance in your presence and neither did I see how much love I had given in the past two years. I have never loved anyone that deeply before. I actually thought that we would be together til death do us part. We get married after your first promotion. We would buy an apartment, preferably somewhere near where I live now. You said you'd pay and I would choose everything.  I actually already decided. I would have wanted cement flooring with white washed walls. Minimalist. Our bed would be low and every night, we would sleep side by side in bliss. Maybe we won't have children at all. We'd travel to crazy places together and spend everyday like it's our last. 

Well, we have already had our last day. You told me that you wanted to just let everything go because it is not worth it anymore. 

I really honestly (at one point) thought my life was all planned out and I would finally know what being happy is all about. I thought I had finally learn how to love. I thought so many things. I thought you loved me that much. 

But obviously, they were just thoughts and not reality.